Moving on from a breakup isn’t easy, even when you know your ex was terrible and not the right person for you. Looking after our mental health while moving on from heartbreak is essential, so we don’t let depression and anxiety overtake us. Even though moving on will still be painful, here are the best ways that you can heal and find new love again.
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I am married to a fantastic man now. However, I was engaged once before in my early 30’s. My ex-fiance and I broke up just weeks before our wedding. It was one of the most painful experiences of my life.
Here is what I have learned about moving forward while my heart is still breaking:
1) Moving forward isn’t always about being happy.
Moving forward is about accepting the situation you have been dealt with and choosing not to be stagnant in your pain. Yes, when your heart breaks, it’s excruciating; however, we do not have to lie down in our pain. We can choose to look up, get up and keep going.
2) It gets worse before it gets better.
Having the bravery to deal with your emotions head-on is not easy and painful.
The benefit of dealing with those emotions far outweighs the pain you might go through. You can go out and party, get stuck into too much work, and distract yourself with various activities.
When you are in pain after a breakup, you might not even be able to think straight. You may be confused, disillusioned, and feel completely out of alignment.
It is essential to stop and take stock of your life when you feel like this. Don’t just go out and sweep your feelings under the rug and hope that these emotions you are feeling never rear their ugly heads. Instead, stop and allow your mind to process what has just happened.
Allow yourself to feel all the emotions, sadness, anger, and frustration. When we give our minds the space needed to process the breakup, can we stop the pain from festering inside us. It can limit the amount of depression and anxiety that we may be inclined to have when going through emotional turmoil.
Can we stop the pain from festering when we give our minds the space to process the breakup? Allowing yourself the opportunity to process emotions means you can get unwanted feelings and toxic energy out of your body. You are preparing it for new love.
If you try and find new love while you are still processing the breakup, you will be doing yourself a disservice. Be brave and go through the healing process to restore your heart and mind and receive your future love wholeheartedly.
3) Find joy in hobbies and activities that you love.
Sometimes when you go through heartbreak, the last thing that you want to do is go out and do a hobby. You may lack motivation or the desire to want to be happy again.
When we have heartbreak, we often go through moments of sadness; however, sometimes, it can lead to depression and anxiety. It is especially the case if you were already burnt out, emotionally depleted, or very sad before the heartbreak.
Depression and anxiety suck. The benefits of going out and doing a hobby or activity that you enjoy are an increase in your mood, happiness, and feelings of being more relaxed.
Spending time on an activity that you enjoy can improve your mental health and wellbeing. Research shows that people with hobbies are less likely to suffer from stress, low mood, and depression. Activities that get you out and about can make you feel happier and more relaxed. Group activities like team sports can improve your communication skills and relationships with others.headtohealth.gov.au
Your interests may be creative, athletic, academic, or something distinctly personal. You may choose a hobby that you can do alone or as part of a group. Whatever your interests are, there is sure to be a hobby out there for you. What matters is that it is something you find meaningful and enjoyable.
4) Start a new project.
I started this website when I was going through heartbreak.
It helped me to move forward. Having a project helped me get out of my head and decrease my anxiety and depression. I have always loved helping others and creating. The feeling I get from helping others helps me to have a more positive outlook on life. Having a blog meant that I could do just that.
Learning has been shown in the research to help improve and maintain our well-being. It can boost self-confidence and self-esteem, help build a sense of purpose, and foster connection with others.livingwell.org.au
You can begin many projects today to help ease the burden of depression and anxiety after your heartbreak. Here is a detailed list to get you started:
5) Hang out with people who make you feel good.
We are whom we socialise with—the people we spend time with will influence us more than we dare to realise.
When you’re heart is breaking, it is fragile. You need people who will be gentle with your heart and understand that you need lots of love and support.
If you feel judged, attacked, or even criticized over your breakup, move on from those who make you feel that way. The more we hang around positive, uplifting people, the better off our mental health will be. Their happiness and joy will rub off on us, and it can become contagious, helping us to move out of anxiety and depression into a new life of joy and happiness.
Only when I accepted my heartbreak and processed the grief of the loss of the dream was I then able to realise that I was much happier and healthier without that relationship. I couldn’t see this when I was in the midst of the breakup, but after I did the work of healing my heart, I could be happy, eventually finding love again.
I am married to a fantastic man, and we have a beautiful son, Benji. I am so glad that I did the work and healed my heart. There is always so much more ahead for us that we can’t even comprehend. Don’t give up; your best days are always ahead of you.
My husband and I are on our wedding day, June 4th, 2022, Gold Coast, Australia.
Please get in touch with your doctor or a licensed therapist if you find anything you read today upsetting and would like help. Please get in touch with your emergency services (call 000 in Australia).