When it comes to dealing with a narcissist, it’s important to understand the ways in which they differ from the rest of us. A narcissist has a set of specific traits. These traits can make them self-centered, arrogant, controlling, manipulative and demanding. If you notice 10 or more of these signs, you are most likely dealing with a narcissist, who is emotionally abusing you.
1. You feel like you are walking on eggshells around them
The abuser may be a family member, friend or partner, but their goal is the same. It is to dominate and control you. You may feel like you are walking on eggshells around them, terrified of setting them off with an innocent comment or an innocent mistake. So instead, you may avoid important discussions with them. This is because you are constantly walking on eggshells knowing that one wrong move could lead to another explosive fight.
2. They give backhanded compliments and gifts.
Narcissists can be kind, generous, and loving but only if it benefits them in some way. They often say things like “I didn’t think that you would be good enough to get that job, well done!”, “That shirt looks so pretty on you, you normally look really fat” or “Your’e not as dumb as you look.” These backhanded comments are a subtle attempt to make you feel small and insecure while they feel important and loved.
3. They’re very charming, but very manipulative.
Narcissists are experts at twisting reality so that their actions appear justified and their victims are always wrong. They’re very charming but very manipulative. They may make you promises they don’t keep or say one thing but do another. They are overtly nice to others and mean when they are alone with you.
They love being in control of everything, especially if it means making you feel bad about yourself. They’ll often use words like “crazy” and “stupid” to describe you so that no one will suspect them of doing anything wrong.
4. They are always the centre of attention.
The narcissist can’t handle when the focus is on someone else. They will walk around like a peacock, displaying all their colours and puffing up their feathers trying to get attention. When I was in a relationship with a narcissist, I could not get a word in at any social event. When I did find a gap in the conversation for me to speak, he often cut me off, spoke over the top of me and disregarded anything I had to say. It was frustrating and annoying and made me feel worthless.
5. You’ve lost friends because of them.
If you’re unfortunate enough to become involved with a narcissist, be prepared for a whirlwind of manipulation and mind games. One of the narcissist’s favourite tricks is to turn others against you and make everyone else believe that you are the crazy one. They will do everything they can to make you doubt your own sanity. Don’t let them succeed. Stay strong and keep fighting for the truth.
6. They make you feel guilty for everything, even if it’s not your fault.
They’ll say things like: “You never do anything for me. or “If you loved me, you would…” And then they’ll blame you for being selfish and uncaring if you don’t comply with their demands.
When this happens, it’s important to remember that it’s not about you at all. It’s about them feeling inadequate or insecure in some way.
7. They make everything about them, whether directly or indirectly.
They manipulate situations so that they can play the victim role and make it look like someone else is being mean when really they just don’t like hearing anything negative about themselves. When you have a conversation with them and explain your feelings or how you might be hurt by their actions, they will always turn the discussion to focus back on their own feelings.
8. They lack empathy
Narcissists are people who lack empathy. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person. Narcissists are not able to do this. They are only able to see things from their own perspective. This lack of empathy makes them unable to understand how other people feel. It also makes them unable to care about other people’s feelings. more
9. They try to convince you that everyone else has a problem with you, not them or your relationship with them.
If you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, you’ll probably find that they are trying to convince you that everyone else has a problem with you and not them. They will say things like “there is nothing wrong with our relationship, you are just too insecure and everyone knows it!”
They will say that you’re that you’re being too sensitive or that you’re just plain wrong. They will try to make you doubt yourself and your perceptions by telling you that other people think you are overacting. Don’t fall for it. Narcissists are manipulative and controlling. They want to keep you off-balance and under their thumb. Don’t let them gaslight you into believing that there’s something wrong with you. Stand up for yourself and don’t let them take away your power.
10. They have a sense of entitlement
Narcissists have a sense of entitlement that often leads them to believe that they are better than others and deserve special treatment. This sense of entitlement can be extremely frustrating for you if you have to deal with a narcissist on a regular basis. This is because it can often lead to you feeling as though you are being taken advantage of.
For example, I know someone who is a narcissist and we have mutual friends, I often have interactions with them due to the parties that we all attend. One tell tale sign of their sense of entitlement is that this person always arrives at gatherings late. They make sure that everyone waits on them to arrive to begin any celebrating. Often the host is too scared to say anything to the narcissist as they would be afraid it would cause them to get too angry and volatile.
So what do you do if you are in a narcissistic relationship?
The best thing you can do is to try to stay calm and rational, and to remember that it’s not really about you. Narcissists are just trying to manipulate you into thinking that you’re the one with the problem, so that they can keep control over you and the relationship. If you can remember that, it’ll be easier to deal with their tactics and keep your own sanity intact.
Always remember to take care of yourself and unwind after a stressful interaction with a narcissist. They will leave you feeling exhausted, mentally drained and confused. Remember to take take time out for yourself and do the things that you love which will help you feel a whole lot better.
If you find yourself in a relationship with a narcissist, it’s important to seek help from a professional. A narcissist can be manipulative and emotionally abusive, making it difficult to break free from their grasp. However, recognising the signs of emotional abuse can be the first step in taking back control of your life. If you recognise these 10 signs in your relationship, then a trained professional can assist you in escaping the emotionally abusive relationship.