Why does love hurt your heart so much? Here are five common reasons – from incompatibility and differing expectations to emotional baggage – and tips for navigating these challenges to find more fulfilling relationships.
Countless songs have been written and sung, expressing this sentiment; why does love hurt so bad?
Many have tried to answer this question. However, it cannot be answered in a single statement.
There is such a variety of us living on the planet with various emotional and mental health experiences that alter how we interact within a romantic relationship.
Discover in this blog post 5 reasons why love hurts and get practical tips for finding more fulfilling relationships based on personal experiences.
Why does love hurt your heart?
1. Incompatibility Issues.
This is a dream of many people to grow up, get married and live happily ever after. However, many of us, like myself, have said “yes” to the “will you marry me” proposal to get married, not mainly because we are compatible and keen on that one person. I was previously engaged in my late 20s to a man who was not compatible at all. Now I am married to a man with the same values, morals and goals. It works so much better!
A race to the alter among my friends has often left relationships injured as they haven’t developed naturally over time and haven’t considered real compatibility.
2. Why Does Love Hurt Your Heart? Differing Relationship Expectations.
When you have different expectations in a relationship, it can cause chaos.
Knowing what my current partner likes and doesn’t like or wants and doesn’t want is so important. It is also just as important to tell my partner my expectations.
The relationship suffers and hurts so much when I have not done this in the past. Don’t be shy. Let your partner know your expectations, which will save so much heartache.
3. Emotional Baggage from Past Relationships.
If you have had more than one romantic relationship, then you have relationship baggage. Baggage is not a problem and doesn’t have to hurt if you carry it well.
Be aware of what hurt you in the previous relationship and be aware that you will have triggers in your next or current relationship that will remind you of past hurts.
Be careful not to react but to respond. When we continually react to stimuli and do not respond, we cause much pain to ourselves and our current or next partner. Baggage can take up so much room in your new relationship.
Clean up your baggage or eliminate any excess or garbage before starting a new relationship. Break the cycle and leave your unwanted bags at the door.
4. Why Does Love Hurt Your Heart? Losing Your Sense of Self.
When we fall in love, we can sometimes lose our sense of self as we try to accommodate our partner’s wishes and desires.
Maintaining your individuality and interests while in a relationship is crucial. Losing yourself in a relationship can cause resentment and pain in the long run.
5. Poor Emotional Regulation.
People with poor emotional regulation skills may struggle to manage the intense emotions of being in a romantic relationship.
Love can bring up powerful feelings of joy, fear, anger, and sadness, which can be overwhelming for some. Suppose a person does not have healthy coping mechanisms to deal with emotions.
In that case, they may lash out at their partner or engage in destructive behaviours, leading to relationship issues and heartache. Developing healthy emotional regulation skills through therapy or self-help can help to manage intense emotions and promote more beneficial relationships.
There are many other reasons why love hurts. These are just a few that I have experienced. Love will always break in one way or another because humans are not perfect. Understanding this means that you will take responsibility for your happiness.
When love hurts, you will not think it is the end of the world but a natural feeling in a romantic relationship. Love shouldn’t stretch all the time; there will, however, be times in a long-term romantic relationship when something your partner does will hurt you.
Be careful to respond and not react. Look after yourself and take responsibility for your happiness. Always remember that if you have battle scars from being hurt in a relationship, you have a story to tell. Let others know how you feel.
What To Do When You Are Heartbroken
When you are going through heartbreak or emotional pain, self-care helps. Here are the top recommended self-care finds on Amazon to help you feel best.
Eye pillows filled with lavender can help soothe and calm the mind, making them an excellent stress-relief tool.
Aromatherapy candles can create a relaxing atmosphere, making them an excellent tool for reducing stress.
The use of essential oils to enhance mental and physical wellness dates back hundreds of years. It’s a tried and true product for helping you feel stress-free.
If you don’t know how to move past the hurt and pain of a relationship, seek professional help or call Relationships Australia on 1300 364 277 for the cost of a local call. You will be connected to your nearest Relationships Australia in your area.